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![]() By Billie Marie Zal Of course I believe in angels! I’ve entertained them, felt their touch, been a recipient of their pure Love and comfort. And it is a glorious experience, one which I never precipitated by my own will, but rather by God’s loving care for me and all of His own in this world. As I have told you so many times, we really are not supposed to be HERE. We belong to another world - the heavenly world - and we instinctively know it. We will be having a really happy moment and suddenly a sense of loneliness rushes in; we pause and wonder why we are lonely. It is at that moment that we have been given a sense of Glory that we cannot comprehend with our mortal minds. That is why this “Presence” is fleeting; being yet in our carnal bodies, we try to grab on to the Presence and make it an earthly thing. But it can never be an earthly thing and we won’t know until we get to Heaven just what real Glory actually is. We all have a guardian angel if we are elected to become a son or daughter of God. I would not believe that with surety if I did not believe God’s Word is infallible and pure Truth. God says we have an “elect Angel” and so it is true. In other words, if, according to God’s Word, you are “elected to become His child” then He sends a special angel who guards you throughout your lifetime and who protects you from satan’s destruction before you recognize the great grace of God and come to an end of your self life and receive Jesus Christ’s glorious resurrection life! This has given me such a sense of safety even when I faced certain death and had no way to protect myself. An angel of the Lord stood between me and my persecutor and I had perfect peace. My heart told me that IF I was killed, then I would be immediately in the presence of the Lord, so what difference did it make if I died at forty years of age or eighty years of age? Either way, I made it to God. One of my most miraculous visits by an angel occurred right after I arrived here from southern California. I had insisted on bringing my beloved horses, and the Jenny, her baby, and ole Pinky, the long-eared burrow. Rosie, of whom I wrote about in my book, was one of the horses, and I knew that if I left these animals behind they would go to the dog food factory. Even the thought of it today breaks my heart. I couldn’t do it, and that was that. The man who would haul my animals said he would bring then down here on his truck for five hundred dollars. We were really trying to cut down on all expenses because we had no assurance of any jobs or means of making money when we got here. But I agreed to his terms. Then, on the day before I was to leave that night (it was so hot, I wanted to travel during the nights and sleep a couple of times during the days) the man called and said he would not haul the horses for less than eight hundred dollars. He had waited until the last moment to tell me because he knew I would never leave them behind. So what could I do? I agreed to that amount. After I arrived, and before the movers got here, I had to paint the entire interior of this house. It was dirty, and flea infested. Then the movers got here and it became a real HOME to me. I sensed that I had seen it before. But that is another story. On day or two the horse hauler arrived and he was livid. He had evidently been so greedy that he rented a trailer that was too small for the animals. He broke down in the desert and had to call for help to haul them to one of those highway resting stations for horses in transit. Not only that, but “Patches,” the little Pinto horse, had claustrophobia and he had kicked holes in the man’s private trailer. I had warned him about Patches’ habit of kicking but he didn’t think I knew anything about horses. He drove into our driveway and opened up the trailer door and out they came - Rosie, the giant red horse, Pinto, a huge “Hollywood” Pinto horse who could do tricks for snacks, then Patches, the kicking horse, next “Koli” my little black “Jenny” and her baby, “Jenny Rae,” who was at least three years old then and still nursing her Mama. But Pinky, my long legged burrow who always looked like he wore long johns, backed off and said, “NO WAY!” He had been squashed into that too-small trailer, had endured the transfer to a wayside feeding station, had been made to get back into the trailer and he was not taking any chances. Nothing could make Pinky move when he did not want to move. But one man said he knew what to do. I was to hold the lead rope of Pinky’s halter and then the man jumped up behind Pinky, lifted his tail, and lit his cigarette lighter BENEATH PINKY’S TAIL. With a loud bellow, Pinky was OFF the trailer and I led him back to the fenced yard which would eventually become their stable area. Now I had my animals and they were safely home. But what about hay, and they had to have a huge water tank to drink from. I began to worry but later on I felt ashamed of my doubt of God’s loving care. It is just that I didn’t know that God could send an angel to provide for my beloved horses and burrows. But He did. Everyone in this area knows everyone else, especially back in 1970 when we arrived. We were the talk of the town, I am sure. So when we mentioned that I needed some hay and a water tank, no one said anything but I felt maybe someone might help. Within a couple of days a man in a blue pickup drove in. I’ve tried many times to describe him, but all that comes to me is “strength” with bright sky blue eyes. He did have a ruddy complexion, and a strong, stocky body clothed in those old “over alls” people in country areas wear. He said he had heard that I needed some hay, so he brought me about 10 bales to “make do.” I was so happy, and as I watched him unload those heavy bales, I marveled at his strength. It seemed effortless to him. And then I asked him how much and he hesitated for a moment and then said, “Oh, give me fifty cents a bail, that oughta do it.” Then I asked him where we could find a “used” water tank. He thought for a moment and then he said, “I just might have one you can borrow, little lady,” and I do remember the twinkle in his eyes. He drove away and within a few minutes he was back! In his truck was a HUGE water tank - just what I needed! And then I asked him, “Where can I reach you, to return the water tank when we are able to buy one?” He smiled and said, “Oh, don’t worry about that, I have many sons in this area, and all you have to do is go up the highway, turn left, and then follow the road all the way to the top.” A week went by, then two, and before I knew it I’d been here a month and was ready to return the water tank. I began to ask around at the feed stores and where all the local farmers hung out. I described the man, the blue truck, and what he had said and no one had ever seen or heard of him. As time went by, I realized that somehow and in some miraculous way, my Father in Heaven had sent His angel to take care of our animals, and to bless us with a proof of the reality of His “ministering angels.” It was a lesson for me. And we went through some very hard times before there was enough to meet all the needs of this family of God. But God had not forgotten me, nor could He! And I still believe that one day I will see this angel in Heaven. But I can’t help wondering, where did he get the hay? And what did he do with the money? And the truck. Nobody had ever seen one like it in the area. So, angels CAN manifest themselves and they really do drive trucks, and buy hay, and provide water tanks for free. They exist. Another time, I believe with all of my heart that I was ministered to by an angel when I had to be in the hospital in southern California for tests. A young nurse came in that first night, and suddenly the ward I was in became very bright as though someone had turned on all the lights. She was smiling at all of us, and came by each bed, touching our hands and making us feel loved and comforted. She “surprised” us with ice cream at midnight (we were all awake anyhow and she knew it), and she sang the sweetest little songs. She was very young, yet very old. When I left the hospital she told me she would keep in touch with me and “Jesus would keep us well and happy.” I gave her my address and once in a while I’d get a cheery note from her. In one note she had enclosed a photo of herself hugging a large Beagle hound with long ears. She said his name was “Sunshine,” and I still have the photo. She also gave me her address. She said she lived across the street from a Cloistered Nun Compound, and was able to be at services in early mornings each day. One of her notes even had a photo of the place. Then a few months after I moved here, I got a letter from her saying that God had shown her the day she would enter “the Holy City.” It would be on a November day, and she gave the date and year. I was alarmed. I didn’t know she was ill. She was so alive. How could she die and why? I kept writing to her, and sharing my life here with her, but after November I never heard from her again. My letters came back, “Not here.” I wrote to the Sisters and they had never heard of her, nor did she live nearby and come to services. She was an angel. I know that now. I think I knew it the night she walked into the hospital ward and gave all of us a bit of herself. So angels DO write letters, and they DO love dogs, and they ARE with us when we are ill and need comfort. I am blessed. I was visited by an angel and I will see her again when I get to Heaven. I didn’t know how she had known that my heart was broken at the time she came to me, but she did. And Love healed me. Another question I have is - do angels manifest as little boys with plastered down hair and a crooked smile? I think so. Back in the late 1940’s, when I lived in that basement in Northlake, Illinois, I always gave up Fridays to my Mother. She and Daddy lived upstairs and all week long she would look forward to “going downtown.” We had a great time. She never knew I had no money to shop with, and I drove my old broken down car, and never told her even if I was sick; it would have disappointed her too much, not to have “her day.” On one occasion we went into a huge store where - right in the middle of the first floor - there was a candy shop. On that particular day I had only twenty five cents to my name. I had no savings, no salary, no checking account. I’d been called of my Father in Heaven to leave my position in the city and serve Him only. I was to tell no one of my needs, and ask no one for funds to conduct His ministry. In this way I would learn in His school of FAITH how to trust Him not with my mind, but with my spirit. Mama had no idea that the quarter was all I had. I don’t think she ever knew I had a need. But I found myself clutching my purse to my chest. At least I had twenty five cents; I was not completely broke. Then a strange thing happened. I noticed a little boy. I still do not know what his age was. He could have been very young, but in some ways he looked like a little wizened old man. He was thin, and he had that stuff on his hair to keep it plastered to his scalp. What made me notice him was the fact that he kept running back and forth in front of one of the glass cases where they kept the candy and various little toys. Then I heard him speak, “Ma’am,” he asked the lady who sold the candy, “how much is that little toy there?” She checked it out and told him and his little shoulders sagged for a moment. Then he looked again, and pointed at another little toy. Again, it was obviously too much. I was close now to him. Actually I was drawn to him and felt akin to him. Now at last he saw a tiny little dog, kind of like the figurines we have in our homes. His face became bright with expectancy and when she told him how much it was, he looked at her and his little face became so solemn and his eyes were sad and he said, “Oh, Ma’am, ain’t you got ANYTHING for a dime?” That did it. I knew what God was asking of me, and I knew that if I refused I would lose that moment forever in time. So I asked her myself, “How much is that little dog?” She smiled and said, “Twenty five cents.” How did I know that this would be the amount which I had clutched so tightly in my purse? I knew it because God asks the impossible of us if we are teachable in His way of giving. There was no way I could keep that twenty five cents and be at peace with my Father in Heaven. So I said to her, “I will pay for the little dog, the boy wants it so badly.” I had no idea if it would have a tax tacked on to it or not, but she accepted my precious quarter, and I parted with it without hesitation. The grace of God had given me the privilege of giving to one of His own. Then the little boy turned to me, his eyes glowing with pure joy. “Oh, thank you, Ma’am, thank you so much.” I started to walk away then, but he reached out and touched my arm. I had not noticed that he stuttered badly and that his teeth were not straight. He was, in a sense, almost “other worldly” and my heart felt “strangely warmed.” He smiled then, and said, “Ggggod blessssssss you, Ma’mammm.” And so I know that yes, angels do sometimes stutter and have crooked teeth and hair that grows every which way and must be plastered down. He was an angel unaware, and when I walked a few feet down the aisle I turned to wave him a goodbye and he had disappeared, suddenly. Throughout the years, when “times are hard” and I want to clutch that last bit of money to my heart and hold on to it, I remember the day that, in His mercy, God gave me the chance to meet up with an angel and share all that I had with him. And no matter what I am holding on to, I let it go. It is only when we give everything that we have, that we are delivered from worrying about tomorrow. That Angel-Child’s blessing is still upon me, and one day I will see him again. Then the questions come, too, about animals? Can an angel manifest through an animal? Well, the Bible tells us that it is so. When Balaam, described in God’s Word as one who loved the wages of unrighteousness, the Bible clearly states: “He was rebuked for his iniquity: the dumb ass speaking with man’s voice forbad the madness of the prophet” (1 Peter 2:16). I don’t know if the donkey was an angel who had taken on his form, but I do know that the donkey spoke and the prophet listened and was afraid. I’ve often thought that perhaps God sends us animals to comfort us; we are all so lonely, because we are “aliens and pilgrims in this world.” We are not HOME yet. So once in a while some animal comes along who loves us with an intensity not common to other animals. So the question, then, too, is: Can some of our beloved pets be angels unaware? They know us so well, and they love us without measure. Surely they can be special agents for our protection. I do not have any concrete proof of this, but I suspect angels do come in this order. It should be a great comfort to all of us that angels really do exist and they really do come to us, and in a sudden rush of enlightenment we know we have been visited by someone from Heaven. We can be comforted then by the knowledge that we have an assigned angel, if we are of God’s Elect. And we are never, never alone. I pray this becomes a reality to each of you. - August, 2003 ![]() This was the very last message that Billie wrote, just a couple of days before she passed on into that other world. So it really isn’t strange that toward the end of her life she would have written about angels. The stories brought tears to my eyes. A childlike faith is always pleasing to God, and that childlike faith comes through so clearly in these stories. I believe that it is a gift of God’s grace to have such faith, and not many people have this true faith in the living presence of God. Jesus had a lot to say about the faith of a child. In Matthew 18 His disciples came to Him with the question of who would be the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. It is so “human” to wonder what our reward will be. Jesus simply set a little child in the midst of them and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven” (Matthew 18:3). Coming back to the questions of angels and their existence, you will find them spoken of all throughout the Bible, starting in Genesis, the first book of the Bible. They are messengers of God to mankind. They minister to God and are very powerful in warfare against evil forces. We are told not to worship them, and at the end of time we will judge the angels (1 Corinthians 6:3). It can be an interesting study to check out angels in the concordance of your Bible. The verses are too numerous to mention here. And make it a point to always check the Word yourself. Its our only source of Truth in a world full of books containing only the thoughts of men. Well, the highlight of our Christmas was probably the snow late Christmas eve. It came so softly and quietly and was about three inches of fluffy white snow. Barney loved it and set out to use his nose as a plow, running and rolling. Gail was down with a bad virus and all things considered we decided to all stay home. We will have dinner together at another time. Happy New Year to Everyone! ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() For Julius Young, Death Row, McAlester, Oklahoma, who has an execution date set for January 14, 2010; and for his family, and the victim’s family. Also pray that the truth will be known in this case. For Johnny Carruthers, Florence, Arizona, for faith, understanding, and patience. For Cantrell Watts, Holdenville, Oklahoma, who is getting out this month, that the “right doors will open” for him. For Willie Davis at Menard, Illinois, who just won his case in the appeals court. Now we are praying that the State will not appeal and let him go. For Willie Grady, Menard, Illinois, and for his friend, Christine Folkers, who’s husband passed away last October; and for Berneice Zimmerman and everyone at the Salem Church in Gridlem, Illinois. For Marshall Ellis’ family and fiancee who are having financial hardships. Marshall’s Mother needs to sell her house, and his brother and son-in-law lost their jobs. Marshall is at Chester, Georgia. For Kevin Cowley’s kids in New York: Shane, Ryan & Kevin, Jr. Kevin is at Florence, Arizona. For Joseph Runge’s Mother, Mavis Runge, who is still undergoing chemotherapy for bladder cancer; and for Joseph’s Father, Joseph Runge, Sr., for his salvation. Joe is at Centralia, Illinois. For William Holland, Menard, Illinois, and his friend, Paul Duffy in Taiwan who’s health is failing. For Willie Clark, Iowa Park, Texas, that he’ll be transferred closer to Houston to be near his family. For Robert Heffernan, Grady, Arkansas, that the Arkansas Supreme Court will order DNA testing in his case. For Willie Harper, Joliet, Illinois, that he stays “cancer free.” For Michael Small’s son, Derek, that he will come back to the Church. Michael is at Menard, Illinois. For Paul Copas, Florence, Arizona, that the Arizona Court of Appeals will rule favorably on his appeal. For Freddie Lee Lott, Galesburg, Illinois, for his health and that he stays “cancer free.” For Frank Williams, Jr., Death Row, Grady, Arkansas. For Sister Ann & all the Carmelite Nuns in Little Rock. For Anthony Grayson, Comstock, New York, that God will send someone to help with his appeal. For Pastor Scott & her ministry (The University Network) in Los Angeles. 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